Life in the slow lane – tips to other old dogs (and dog owners) on aging gracefully

I had a close call today. I was taking a nap on the bed like I always do while mom is at work. Well, I forgot to take my collar off (not pointing fingers or anything mom) and when I went to get up to go get a drink of water, my collar caught on the blankets. As if this wasn’t bad enough, while trying to extricate myself from this predicament, I wound up getting my paw wrapped up in the blankets. When mommy came home, she discovered me lying on the floor, so dehydrated I could barely speak.

For a second there before mommy arrived, I was sure it was the end for me. As I lay there on the floor desperately in need of water, my life flashed before my eyes. It was then I realized how much wisdom I have yet to share with my fellow canines. So here it goes, tips on aging gracefully …at least the ones I can remember.

1. For goodness sakes, take off your collar when you go to sleep. And trust me, once you get to be my age, you’ll do a lot of sleeping. Don’t let my near-tragic experience this evening be in vain. Blankets and collars are like hairdryers and bath tubs…they should come with a warning.

2. When it comes to car rides, swallow your pride and just lie down. As you get up in years, you’ll notice your joints aren’t what they used to be. This combined with the constant stopping and going in the car are a deadly combination. Those days of standing up in the car, paws on the window ledge, ears flapping in the wind…well, let’s just say kiss them goodbye. To avoid being thrown to the floor or taking a chin dive into the middle console, stay seated in the car. Better yet, just lie down.

3. This is a little bit embarrassing to talk about, but for you dog owners out there, and for you old dogs, it’s going to be a fact of life eventually. When it comes to going outside to do your duty in the winter, don’t be shy to go on the sidewalk. I know you’ve been trained your whole life to go on the grass, but when there’s a few inches or more of snow on the grass, it is best to just stay on the safely shoveled sidewalk. Deep snow can trip you up pretty good and your owner should be picking up your poop anyways, so it doesn’t matter where you go.

4. Choose your friends wisely. Trust me, I know from experience. It can be tough being an old dog, especially a smaller one. I often have to let younger, spunkier pups know who the boss is. Sometimes, when it comes to the larger dogs, this can get me into trouble. Being their elder, they often try to establish their dominance. This happens with girls more so than boys. I’ve done my best to stand my ground, though I won’t lie, I’ve been bitten a few times, but that’s another story.

5. Let the motor out. Be sure your mom or dad is getting you out for one long walk a day. It’s like a car that sits for too long. Eventually it just doesn’t go anymore.

6. Have your owner lift your food dishes off the ground. This is a good tip for any age dog. My mommy didn’t start doing this until a few months ago when she noticed I was falling over a lot while trying to eat. She put my food and water on her Coleman camper stove to reduce the strain on my back and now I can eat and drink much easier.

7. Stay away from stairs at all costs. You may notice yourself slipping on them here or there, but before you know it, you’ll be chin planting going up them, or worse, falling down them. Large numbers of stairs are particularly dangerous. At this point in my life, for anything more than four or five steps, I take the elevator or mom carries me. I’ve had a few close calls where I fell down the stairs and thought I’d broken a bone. Mom said if I had broken my leg, she would have probably just had to put me down to sleep, so now I just play it safe.