Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door

Okay, so for the most part, my blogs are usually funny and upbeat, but these past few days I've been really feeling my age. In just 10 days, I'll be turning 15 years old.

I attended a birthday party this weekend at a house with all wood floors. It was very difficult for me to get around. I am falling a lot more than usual lately. Yesterday, I was over at my friend Barkley's house eating some of her food and I fell on the floor pretty hard, spilling the entire dish of food all over. And today, I got a stomach ache and threw-up my breakfast. I know I'm not getting any younger. I love my mommy so much I can't stand the thought of leaving her all alone, but lately I'm just so tired, clumsy and forgetful.

I know the issue of how long I should live is weighing heavily on my mommy's mind. I suppose I don't make it any easier on her when I have my good and bad days. One day I'm knocking on heaven's door, and the next, I'm off hiking more than a mile. Sooner or later I know my mommy's going to make an appointment with the veterinarian and I'm pretty sure they're going to tell her she has to get me a new medicine, one that will be much pricier than the medicine I am currently taking.

So, how do you know when it's time? Since I can't tell my mommy myself, maybe some of my dear followers could give her some guidance or advice, or even just a little comfort as my final destination draws closer.

Last Will and Testament

Okay, so I'm not gonna lie....I'm getting old so I figured I should get my matters in order sooner than later. So here it goes.

My Last Will and Testament

1. My fuzzy soccer ball
It would be a sin not to leave my favorite toy to the guy who introduced me to it in the first place, Gatsby Siftar. I bequeath my yellow spotted fleece soccer ball to him, despite the fact that he already has at least five of them, including a few of mine that I left at his house when I lived there for a short while. It will most certainly add to his toy collection, which could quite possibly be the largest in Rochester, NY.



2. My comfy bed
I know she covets my bed, therefore I will leave it to Barkley Flaherty. She's an old dog and I know her aching bones will appreciate it. Plus, then she can have one bed for upstairs and one for downstairs.



3. My food and water dish
These items will be left to my cousin Baxter Cavalier because he is a horse and eats and drinks like one. (photo to come soon)



4. My leash
I have had the same leash since I was a puppy. I used to chew it when I went for walks, but somehow it's stood the test of time. I will leave this to my mommy so she'll always have something to remember me by. So help me god if she lets her next dog use it. I'll come back to haunt her if she does.






5. The tip of my tail
This will go to my grandma, since she still finds humor in the fact that my mommy cut it off the first time I almost died.







6. Any leftover milk bones, dog food or arthritis medicine

Seen here in my former dungeon, I leave my food, dog bones and arthritis medicine to my aunt Casey since I always eat hers when I'm visiting the spa at Grandma's house.






7. My brush, nail clippers and toothbrush - As my final wishes, I want these items to be burned so as to never torture another living soul again.

Full house

When I was six years old, I lived with these two awesome guys named Chance and Isaac. We were one big happy family squeezed in a small two-bedroom log cabin in Scriba, NY. It started out as me, my mommy, my nother mother (as I call her) and Isaac Marie, a beautiful husky-lab mix with sky-blue eyes.

We should have smelled trouble when my nother mother started visiting the dog pound on a regular basis. There she met Romeo, a black and white spotted mix-breed who had been living at the pound for several months. My nother mother brought home a picture of him and put it on the fridge because we didn’t have room for another body in the house…or so we thought.

One day my nother mother got a call from the pound. Someone had dropped off a litter of puppies and they needed to make room. Romeo was going to be put to sleep. My mommy and my nother mother quickly agreed that Romeo would come live with us. We weren’t sure what kind of a doggy he would be, especially after being in a cage for so long.

Romeo got a new name when he came to live with us…Chance or Chancey. He won us all over right away, all 65 plus pounds of love. He loved to lean all his weight on you, or just lay in your lap. Although he stayed in a cage for the first few days to be sure he wasn’t going to go AWOL on the house, my mommy and nother mother quickly realized Chance was just happy to be home.

I loved to play with Chance and Isaac. For such big boys, they were so gentle with me. One time though, my ear got caught between somebody’s teeth and it broke a blood vessel. My ear puffed up really big and filled with blood. I had to get surgery, but it didn’t stop me from playing with my boys or humping them. It was an accident after all.

And just when we thought our family was complete, along came a cat. This cat must have had nine lives. When it came to our house, it was the dead of winter. The cat had been seeking shelter under the porch, and preying upon my mommy and nother mother’s animal loving hearts. Before you know it, we had a new family member.

At first we figured the cat wouldn’t want to live with three dogs and that would be the end of things. As soon as the black cat stepped foot in the door though, Isaac fell in love. He immediately stepped up to clean the cat’s coat with his teeth, a habit he would continue until we all separated. And the cat loved us all in return. We named our new family member Miner, as in coal miner.

It turns out the cat was a rabid killer. Miner would bring home more food than it could eat to the chagrin of my two moms, as well as our landlord. One time Miner got in a fight with a raccoon. My mommy heard it in the middle of the night but figured it was some wild animals fighting. Miner’s tail almost fell off before we discovered her wounds. She lived though and the hair grew back white on her tail, so now she’s not a true black cat.

I only saw Chance and Isaac a few times after we moved out of the log cabin. Chance is 14-years-old now and crazy as ever according to my nother mother. He lives in Germany. Isaac Marie passed away in October 2007. He was nine. Miner is now retired on Irondequoit Bay in Rochester. Her age is unknown.

I betcha didn't know....

Here's some fun facts about myself for my adoring fans.

1. I love cats. I've lived with many cats throughout my life and let me say, I think they are getting a bad rap. I've even been known to get them to wrestle.



2. I am a redneck. Not because I lived in Virginia, but because I only have about half of my teeth. Had my mommy known how important it was to brush my teeth when I was younger, maybe I wouldn't have had so many problems. I've had two dental surgeries totaling about $900. I'm down to about 12 teeth now.


3. I loved to chew as a puppy. Among the things I destroyed are at least a dozen pair of shoes, a couch and love seat, bathroom floor tiles, bike helmets, Birkenstocks, a bongo drum and anything else mommy was stupid enough to leave out...and that's all I can recall off the top of my head.


4. I have nine lives. In addition to surviving autoimmune hemolytic anemia, I almost choked to death when my choke collar got caught on my friend Midnight's jaw in a play fight and I was attacked by dogs twice. I've also fallen down the stairs quite a few times. Mommy said she's thought I was a goner a few times.


5. I'm deaf, not blind. Sometimes people ask my mommy if I'm blind because my eyes sort of let off a strange glow when the light hits them right, or whenever I allow myself to be subjected to flash photography. My sight is just fine. My hearing is a different story. I will sleep through a monsoon. Sometimes mommy can be home for 15 minutes before I wake up and realize it.



6. I may have a substance abuse problem.








7. My mommy once sent me to Long Island to live with one of her college roommates for a summer. About two weeks into my stay, my foster grandmother kicked me out. My mommy had to drive all the way down to Long Island to retrieve me. While we were there, we visited New York City where I rode the subway and saw Ziggy Marley and the Wailers for free in Central Park.

8. I look like a fox when I sleep.

Marley & Me

Before the book Marley & Me came to fame, I had my own friend named Marley. She was a great gal. We met before or after the time I almost died, so maybe when I was 6? You’ll have to excuse me…my memory isn’t what it used to be.

I really liked Marley because she minded her own business and gave me my space. Walking side by side or sniffing one another’s butt was about as close as we ever got to playing. Marley and I were exercise buddies, which was a result of our mommies being exercise buddies. She taught me a lot.

We used to go walking almost everyday. On our walks, Marley was allowed to walk off her leash. Of course, as soon as I saw this, I knew it was something I wanted to be able to do too. Thankfully my mommy wanted to try it out too. I guess she had a problem with stopping every two feet for me to smell something. I learned how to walk off the leash, and how to stop and wait to be prompted to cross the street by watching Marley. That’s not to say I didn’t give mommy a few scares running across the street after a squirrel or two. I still do walk off my leash, and I know to stop before crossing the street, only now that I’m deaf, mommy has to hold my collar until I get to the other side.

Marley also taught me how to swim. I don’t mean literally how to swim. I think I was born knowing the doggy paddle. Before Marley and I met, I would only get in the water to chase a stick. Marley showed me how to swim for leisure. Since our walks often brought us to Lake Ontario, our mommies would often stop to let us take a dip and chase a few sticks. Sometimes though, Marley would just go swimming out in the lake for pleasure, no sticks required. When Marley’s mommy would go in for a swim, she would challenge Marley to a race. This involved the two of them swimming a ways from shore, then turning around and racing back. Lo and behold, once, my mommy and I did a similar race. I let mommy win.

Marley and I would also go cross-country skiing. The longest distance I ever went with her was six miles on the Tug Hill Plateau. I’m pretty sure that’s when the photo of us was taken. As you can see we were pretty pooped. I miss Marley a lot. She was probably my best girlfriend. She passed away a few years ago. She’s the kind of dog who could probably have written a blog herself. She lived a very full and interesting life, undoubtedly better than some people. That’s probably why she was so cool.

Desperately seeking a new home

Someone please help me. Call animal welfare, or come pick me up. This crazy woman I call my mom is at it again. She brushed me yesterday and let me tell you, I'm still recovering from the trauma. Doesn't she realize how long it takes me to build up this waterproof sheen on my coat? And this is no normal brushing. It's so torturous I try to run away from home every time she does it. Here I was thinking we were just going for a walk, and then she pulls out that pad of needles she likes to call a brush and next thing you know I'm practically bald. If you know of anyone who can help, please send them as quickly as possible. Pretty soon I'm not gonna have any hair left.

Oh no you didn't

While I was out walking the other day, two people passing by stopped to pet me. That's not unusual. The shocking part was they referred to me as an "old lady." I didn't have the heart to tell these strangers that they should get their vision checked. I don't look a day older than 6. What do you think?
Then.....



























and now....

Waking Miss Lucy

This video was captured by my mom. I'm not sure why my mom insists on using a cutsie voice when talking to me. I'm deaf. Hope you enjoy it.

Over the hills and through the woods

Sorry I haven't written in a few days. I've been just exhausted from all the relaxing I've been doing at my grandma's in Oswego. Going to grandma's house is like a weekend at the spa because I get treated like royalty when I'm there. Here's some pictures from the weekend and a glimpse at my schedule.











Friday

7:00 a.m. - Grandpa lets me out for my early morning constitution.

8:30 a.m. - Wake up and go outside for a morning meditation and cleansing.

8:45 a.m. - Eat some of my Cousin Casey's Beneful dog food, a nice change from my Eukanuba.

9:00 a.m. - settle in for a morning snooze in the warm sun.

10:00 a.m. - open eyes, look for mom or grandma, fall back to sleep.

10:15 - 10:30 a.m. - stand at my water bowl and for a leisurely sip of water to stay hyrdated.

11:00 a.m. - go outside for mid-morning stretching exercises.

12:00 p.m. - figure out what's for lunch.

12:15 p.m. - go outside and pretend to go potty so I can beg for a treat when I'm let back in.

12:30 - 1 p.m. - clean myself and my bed.

1:00 p.m. - retire to Florida room for post-lunch siesta.

3:00 p.m. - massage and pettings from grandma. (Although it interferes with my afternoon nap, I tolerate this for grandma's sake.)

3:30 - 4:30 p.m. - nap to keep my strength up for the hectic evening schedule of events.

4:30 p.m. - wake up and see if my mother is home from all her visiting. Check out the toy pile, see if there's anything cool to play with.

5 p.m. - Dinner (more of that dog food I don't get to eat at home.)

6 p.m. - head outside for a stroll in the garden and for some sniffing exercises.

7 p.m. - settle down for the nightly movie/shows.

10 p.m. - wake up to go outside for a moonlight stroll, and so I can have one last treat before bed.

10:30 p.m. - my male escort arrives to carry me up to my room.

Snow-cam

We recently got a big snow storm, so I had my mother bring her camera out for a walk to get some modeling shots.