Someone please help me. Call animal welfare, or come pick me up. This crazy woman I call my mom is at it again. She brushed me yesterday and let me tell you, I'm still recovering from the trauma. Doesn't she realize how long it takes me to build up this waterproof sheen on my coat? And this is no normal brushing. It's so torturous I try to run away from home every time she does it. Here I was thinking we were just going for a walk, and then she pulls out that pad of needles she likes to call a brush and next thing you know I'm practically bald. If you know of anyone who can help, please send them as quickly as possible. Pretty soon I'm not gonna have any hair left.
All that hair would make a great pillow!
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