Someone please help me. Call animal welfare, or come pick me up. This crazy woman I call my mom is at it again. She brushed me yesterday and let me tell you, I'm still recovering from the trauma. Doesn't she realize how long it takes me to build up this waterproof sheen on my coat? And this is no normal brushing. It's so torturous I try to run away from home every time she does it. Here I was thinking we were just going for a walk, and then she pulls out that pad of needles she likes to call a brush and next thing you know I'm practically bald. If you know of anyone who can help, please send them as quickly as possible. Pretty soon I'm not gonna have any hair left.
While I was out walking the other day, two people passing by stopped to pet me. That's not unusual. The shocking part was they referred to me as an "old lady." I didn't have the heart to tell these strangers that they should get their vision checked. I don't look a day older than 6. What do you think? Then.....
Sorry I haven't written in a few days. I've been just exhausted from all the relaxing I've been doing at my grandma's in Oswego. Going to grandma's house is like a weekend at the spa because I get treated like royalty when I'm there. Here's some pictures from the weekend and a glimpse at my schedule.
Friday
7:00 a.m. - Grandpa lets me out for my early morning constitution.
8:30 a.m. - Wake up and go outside for a morning meditation and cleansing.
8:45 a.m. - Eat some of my Cousin Casey's Beneful dog food, a nice change from my Eukanuba.
9:00 a.m. - settle in for a morning snooze in the warm sun.
10:00 a.m. - open eyes, look for mom or grandma, fall back to sleep.
10:15 - 10:30 a.m. - stand at my water bowl and for a leisurely sip of water to stay hyrdated.
11:00 a.m. - go outside for mid-morning stretching exercises. 12:00 p.m. - figure out what's for lunch.
12:15 p.m. - go outside and pretend to go potty so I can beg for a treat when I'm let back in.
12:30 - 1 p.m. - clean myself and my bed.
1:00 p.m. - retire to Florida room for post-lunch siesta. 3:00 p.m. - massage and pettings from grandma. (Although it interferes with my afternoon nap, I tolerate this for grandma's sake.)
3:30 - 4:30 p.m. - nap to keep my strength up for the hectic evening schedule of events.
4:30 p.m. - wake up and see if my mother is home from all her visiting. Check out the toy pile, see if there's anything cool to play with.
5 p.m. - Dinner (more of that dog food I don't get to eat at home.)
6 p.m. - head outside for a stroll in the garden and for some sniffing exercises.
7 p.m. - settle down for the nightly movie/shows.
10 p.m. - wake up to go outside for a moonlight stroll, and so I can have one last treat before bed.
10:30 p.m. - my male escort arrives to carry me up to my room.
Throughout my lifetime I’ve had the pleasure of befriending and sniffing the butts of many good dogs. I’ll try to cover them all in my blog, but I think I’ll start first and foremost with the one dog that was quite possibly my soul mate, Desi Flores-Fratto.
In all actuality, if it weren’t for Desi and his mother, I would have never found my mother. Desi was my neighbor when I was a puppy living with my first owners in Oswego. When my future mommy would come by to visit Desi and his mom, she would see me and I would do my best to melt her heart. Eventually I wore down her resistance and clouded her common sense…you see my mother was only 18 when she adopted me to the chagrin of her own mother, my grandma.
What began as a friendship with the boy next door (Desi) eventually grew more serious. We saw one another practically every day. Our relationship was never physical, though I’d hump him once in a while just to remind him who wore the pants in our relationship. Quite possibly the most important thing Desi taught me was the art of Desi-Fu.
Over the years we were separated for long periods of time, but we were able to spend some quality time together at the end of Desi’s life. He would come to my house often to stay while his mommy was away. In the end, we both just loved one another’s companionship. We could sit in a room and ignore one another for hours. In our spare time we enjoyed taking walks together. As we both were suspected to be part beagle, we both enjoyed stopping to smell pretty much everything.
My mommy used to have a painting on her wall of a dog and a woman standing on a beach on a cloudy day. The dog and woman looked so much like Desi and his mom that my mother gave it to her when Desi was put to sleep. Before she got rid of the picture though, she had my grandma take a picture of it so she could repaint it. Instead of a black dog, my grandma painted an orange dog in the picture, so now Desi and I are both immortalized in the same painting. I miss him and I always stop by his old house when we walk by.
I had a close call today. I was taking a nap on the bed like I always do while mom is at work. Well, I forgot to take my collar off (not pointing fingers or anything mom) and when I went to get up to go get a drink of water, my collar caught on the blankets. As if this wasn’t bad enough, while trying to extricate myself from this predicament, I wound up getting my paw wrapped up in the blankets. When mommy came home, she discovered me lying on the floor, so dehydrated I could barely speak.
For a second there before mommy arrived, I was sure it was the end for me. As I lay there on the floor desperately in need of water, my life flashed before my eyes. It was then I realized how much wisdom I have yet to share with my fellow canines. So here it goes, tips on aging gracefully …at least the ones I can remember.
1.For goodness sakes, take off your collar when you go to sleep. And trust me, once you get to be my age, you’ll do a lot of sleeping. Don’t let my near-tragic experience this evening be in vain. Blankets and collars are like hairdryers and bath tubs…they should come with a warning.
2.When it comes to car rides, swallow your pride and just lie down. As you get up in years, you’ll notice your joints aren’t what they used to be. This combined with the constant stopping and going in the car are a deadly combination. Those days of standing up in the car, paws on the window ledge, ears flapping in the wind…well, let’s just say kiss them goodbye. To avoid being thrown to the floor or taking a chin dive into the middle console, stay seated in the car. Better yet, just lie down.
3.This is a little bit embarrassing to talk about, but for you dog owners out there, and for you old dogs, it’s going to be a fact of life eventually. When it comes to going outside to do your duty in the winter, don’t be shy to go on the sidewalk. I know you’ve been trained your whole life to go on the grass, but when there’s a few inches or more of snow on the grass, it is best to just stay on the safely shoveled sidewalk. Deep snow can trip you up pretty good and your owner should be picking up your poop anyways, so it doesn’t matter where you go.
4.Choose your friends wisely. Trust me, I know from experience. It can be tough being an old dog, especially a smaller one. I often have to let younger, spunkier pups know who the boss is. Sometimes, when it comes to the larger dogs, this can get me into trouble. Being their elder, they often try to establish their dominance. This happens with girls more so than boys. I’ve done my best to stand my ground, though I won’t lie, I’ve been bitten a few times, but that’s another story.
5.Let the motor out. Be sure your mom or dad is getting you out for one long walk a day. It’s like a car that sits for too long. Eventually it just doesn’t go anymore.
6.Have your owner lift your food dishes off the ground. This is a good tip for any age dog. My mommy didn’t start doing this until a few months ago when she noticed I was falling over a lot while trying to eat. She put my food and water on her Coleman camper stove to reduce the strain on my back and now I can eat and drink much easier.
7. Stay away from stairs at all costs. You may notice yourself slipping on them here or there, but before you know it, you’ll be chin planting going up them, or worse, falling down them. Large numbers of stairs are particularly dangerous. At this point in my life, for anything more than four or five steps, I take the elevator or mom carries me. I’ve had a few close calls where I fell down the stairs and thought I’d broken a bone. Mom said if I had broken my leg, she would have probably just had to put me down to sleep, so now I just play it safe.
